Thursday, February 15, 2018

Some thoughts...

A while back I decided to return to a paper journal for thoughts, devotions, scribbles, muddling, work notes and all that comes to my mind while I read, write, listen or watch... because of that this space has been left empty, forgotten and neglected.  At one point I was simply going to delete it since I was not using it and likelihood of anyone reading this is zero, and thats not why I had it anyways...

But then there are all these archives of nonsense, insightfulness, memories, confusion, quotes and so much more that I recorded at some point and this messy, bad, decent, ok, good and terrible collections are what make up my journey and thoughts... and so I leave it, and once in a while return to re-read, laugh at what I had thought at one point but also I get encouraged and surprised about things I thought about and wrestled with in my soul. It's good and healthy (in a broken sort of way).. and so I keep this.

So here is some of my updated wrestling and thoughts as we enter Lent today (Feb. 15, 2018) ... I have never been very good at Lent, that is I have great aspirations and intentions of observing Lent in the most "spiritual" way,  but so often fail on these intentions and aspirations, and frustrate my self and get so absorbed into my self in the midst of a time where my journey ought to lead me to death, burial and most importantly the resurrection of Jesus.   So today, I promise nothing, that feels so unspiritual to even type.  But I promise nothing.  I will muddle and remember and write and read and look up and cry and laugh and get mad and get up and sit down. I will live freely and love freely and I will embrace the fact that all is spiritual and that Jesus just loves me... and you and us and them.

The practice of resurrection is an intentional, deliberate decision to believe and participate in resurrection life, life out of death, life that trumps death, life that is the last word, Jesus life.
-Eugene Peterson

art by Makoto Fujimura, Walking on Water 

Monday, July 04, 2016


The crucified, resurrected Jesus shows us how to transform pain without denying, blaming, projecting it elsewhere. - Richard Rohr

Monday, August 31, 2015

Wendell Berry quotes

We are now living in a sexual atmosphere so polluted and embittered that women must look on virtually any man as an assailant, and a man must look on virtually any women as a potential accuser.  The idea that this situation can be corrected by the courts and the police only compounds the disorder and the danger.  And in the midst of this acid rainfall of predation and recrimination, we presume to teach our young people that sex can be made ‘safe’ - by the use, inevitably, of purchased drugs and devices.  What a lie!  Sex was never safe and it is less safe now than it has ever been…

What we are actually teaching the young is an illusion of thoughtless freedom and purchasable safety, which encourages them to tamper prematurely, disrespectfully , and dangerously with a great power.  Just as the public economy encourages people to spend money and waste the world, so the public sexual code encourages people to be spendthrifts and squanderers of sex…

In sex, as in other things, we have liberated fantasy but killed imagination, and so we have sealed ourselves in selfishness and loneliness.  Fantasy is of the solitary self, and it cannot lead us away from ourselves.  It is by imagination that we cross over the differences between ourselves and other beings and thus learn compassion, forbearance, mercy, forgiveness, sympathy and love - the virtues without which neither we nor the world can live…

- Wendell Berry,  Sex, Economy, Freedom & Community: Eight Essays

Thursday, August 06, 2015

History Repeats...

History repeats, it's cyclical they say. It repeats with the good and the ugly, the storms rise, calm and repeat.  Awful things like abuse, murder and wars continue despite our historical consciousness of how terrible they were and are, they become again and continue. We do them for many reasons, sometimes out of necessity some times for the greater good, there is always a reason to continue them.  In the olden times child sacrifice for example was something horrifically done to appease the gods, so that one would have a good life.  

This unimaginable, misguided, broken system was interrupted when God tells Abraham that He is NOT to kill Isaac his son.  The fact that He is asked to do it in the first place is NOT the issue or the point of the story, in fact it may have been somewhat ordinary to the culture of that time, gods were demanding child sacrifice all the time, then!  The significance is that God interrupts and triumphantly puts an end to it, and provides a lamb.  In this, foreshadowing the ultimate sacrifice by God-Himself, for us, to come.  The answer; was, is, and will be Jesus...

 Today we live in a new age of child sacrifice, we may not be doing it to appease the pagan god(s), but, but we are sacrificing children to the gods of selfishness.  We easily explain away life, personhood, humanity to satisfy the selfish and ignorant desires. We don't want anything... even life to disrupt, or get in the way of us enjoying our good life.  We don't want anything in the way of finding ourselves, or maybe we are waiting for a time to be more mature, seduced by a lie that - youth is all that matters.  So we don't want a child to get in the way of, our life,  so we sacrifice children (read abort) them for the good life.  

I know its not always this simple, I realize there are plenty of stories of rape and abuse and constant horrors that are forced on someone, and non of them are ok, and non of them should be explained away.  They are unjust, wrong, horrible, sad and broken.  But perpetuating one horror because of another is repeating history. The answer today; was, is and will be Jesus...  The one who was abused, scorned and broken, the one who weeps with us, but offers His life for us... so that we could have life, to the fullest... a life from death.

There Is No Pro-Life Case For Planned Parenthood, Read: 

Sunday, June 21, 2015


“Christianity has from its beginning portrayed itself as a gospel of peace, a way of reconciliation (with God, with other creatures), and a new model of human community, offering the 'peace which passes understanding' to a world enmeshed in sin and violence. ” David Bentley Hart

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Suffering, David Bentley Hart, Quote

"As for comfort, when we seek it, I can imagine none greater than the happy knowledge that when I see the death of a child I do not see the face of God, but the face of His enemy. It is not a faith that would necessarily satisfy Ivan Karamazov, but neither is it one that his arguments can defeat: for it has set us free from optimism, and taught us hope instead. We can rejoice that we are saved not through the immanent mechanisms of history and nature, but by grace; that God will not unite all of history’s many strands in one great synthesis, but will judge much of history false and damnable; that He will not simply reveal the sublime logic of fallen nature, but will strike off the fetters in which creation languishes; and that, rather than showing us how the tears of a small girl suffering in the dark were necessary for the building of the Kingdom, He will instead raise her up and wipe away all tears from her eyes”and there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying, nor any more pain, for the former things will have passed away, and He that sits upon the throne will say, “Behold, I make all things new.” 


-David B. Hart’s most recent book is Atheist Delusions: The Christian Revolution and Its Fashionable Enemies.