Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Hockey Draft 'Crew'

Well the hockey Draft is nearing its peak as we are closing in past the second half of the season and are coming to the finish…and of course the start of the playoffs and the playoff draft…And I have realized the following: One, that I am not going to win this draft…urrrr…and Two, is that I have never introduced the “crew” to the blogging world and to all those who intently read my blog…yes both of you mom and dad…anyways…since I can't post about the Vancouver Trip, since Clint lost his camera and we are still waiting to find those pictures…here is the Hepburn hockey draft crew:

Right now as of January 31, 2006 in first we have Doc…(Ron Sigstad) Playing the odds wisely, Doc comes across as quiet and shy person but behind that poker face we see well a baby face…but not just a baby face but a sly, intelligent player who is never shy about failing the students in his class who also happen to be in the draft…Doc likes to use his natural good looks to intimidate other players…well played so far Doc…well played…I am for one in awe of your brilliance so far…starting out completely last and slowly grinding away into this first position. Beware of anyone whose nickname is Doc

In Second we have Mr. Lucky…(Dallas Willms) With exception of God Himself no one thought that Atlanta could put any wins together this year let alone have three top scorers…most thought that this kind of combo of superstars would implode on them selves and disappear and early prognosis had this in store…yet Mr. Lucky pulled it out by playing the odds…that is going against what others would consider success and winning…his constant maintaining of the top 3 seed has given him an impressive position and also the name…

In third and always a threat we have The Fish…(Gil Dueck) ok this nickname is not as creative gil-fish…and all…but it suits this slimy character who is quick to change gears up stream or down, The Fish banks on sloppy picking of others and with quick manipulation gains ground…In fact manipulation is The Fish’s favorite ploy…his tactics of picking players for others and sly sarcasm will bite one when least expected. The Fish seems friendly like a gold-fish but can quickly turn into a piranha if neglected or underestimated…the fish deserves respect.

In forth we have Cagy Vet…(Rob Braun) this guy's name says it all…the guy is on the ball, knowing his picks, his odds, and plays them to his advantage, his years of experience have given him this title and one that he wont easily loose. With one stern look Cagy Vet can destroy man's confidence or even his manhood…one must beware of Cagy Vet as he has shown his dominance by staying in first place for over half of the season…only to loose it to Mr. Lucky for obvious lucky reasons.

In fifth we have Lady Fingers…(Dave Carey) Lady Fingers gets his nick name by always being able to find his way into midst of the draft with minimal effort, Lady Fingers isn’t afraid of who the big boys are: Vet, Fish and Lucky, Lady Fingers knows that he can do his magic and let less then impressive line up some how rise above all expectations, his ability to avoid the obvious choices in the draft is clear, but his rise to the top half is a mystery…do not take Lady Fingers for granted…he is a formidable foe…well played Lady Fingers.

In sixth we have Iron Drawers…(Rob Bushman) Iron Drawers plays extremely tight and has infinite patience. Although his picks have been up and down on the bottom half of the draft he is biting his time, with methodology of a mad scientist. His showing so far cannot be underestimated. Iron Drawers is usually tactful, and lets his play do the talking…which in this case isn’t much…But as with all mad scientists you just cannot turn your back on him.

In seventh spot we have Well I was going to name my self Captain Morgun…but after making up all the nicknames and descriptions and looking at the pic with that dirty mustache I thought perhaps a better one would suit since some may be less then impressed so in seventh we have The Worm…(Paul Morgun) The Worm players on the edge, always willing to take a gamble on players who are dying of STD’s (ie. Elias) or have literally replaced their will to play with band-aids, hoping that some kind of good can come out of this…The Worm isn’t afraid to let his feelings be heard even though they maybe trashed and abused…The Worm loves controversy and strives in it…Look out for his late push in the season for 4th spot….

In eighth spot we have Cincinnati Kid…(Chris Derak) ok Hepburn Kid just didn’t sound as cool…Cincinnati Kid drafts with his heart, he goes with things he likes, he is honest and a bit gullible, but isn’t afraid to step up when needed… Cincinnati Kid can wheel and deal but avoids controversy knowing that his looks and charm can get him through tough times…Cincinnati Kid dreams of dominating...one day Cincinnati Kid one day!

In ninth spot we have Cactus Jack…or The Rev...(Jeff Peters) Cactus Jack gets involved by using poker face…in fact so much that he actually misses the re-draft and yet somehow gains valuable ground by dropping the 92yr. Lemieux. The Rev. likes to change things up, keeping people guessing thus one nickname could not suffice this wily character. Cactus Jack knows how to ‘kick it’ old school but relies on his savvy by staying tuned to the current trends, always willing to learn. The Rev. has been able to sustain small pressure on the players above him, but although much failure has occurred, he is never afraid to preach it…amen brother keep up the hard work.

In tenth and final spot we have Amarillo Slim…(Andrew Bergen) Since Amarillo refused sending me a picture of himself and is never around so i can't even paparazzi him...I found the next most look alike person to him....Amarillo Slim is an elaborate player who likes to stay low to the ground always being in the desert away form promise land (that is first place or even top 5) and no the name is Amarillo not armadillo. Amarillo Slim relies on complete destruction and death of all 856 NHL players so his 16 players can finally get some points and he could earn top spots in the draft…but with unlikely holocaust of all other players and reality that Scottie Upshall will somehow actually loose the points he has rather then gain any Amarillo Slim is likely to stay in bottom three.


Gil said...

I thought you said Andrew DIDN'T send you a picture....

Lisa said...

ok paul, so you need to get something up from the weekend you were up here - i haven't gotten any of them. and that is sad. put some up regardless of clint's forgetfulness... you can just have a part II when/if he finds them. or at least send me some pics. much love, lisa.