Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Telemarketing is evil...


We have recently been getting a lot of telemarketers calling us, trying to sell us stuff, have us be part of surveys and of course the all important approval for a newer and better credit card... Here are some ways to have fun with your telemarketer:

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you are just about to file for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on 'home incarceration' and ask if they could bring you a case of Coke and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" (blatant Seinfeld rip off but still funny)

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

And, first and foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down...

1 comment:

Shannon said...

All you have to do is ask them to remove you from their list. As soon as you say this they are legally obligated to stop talking about whatever they phoned about IMMEDIATELY. Of course, this doesn't stop them from phoning you in the first place. But at least it stops them from rambling on and on. :)